2012 GOP: Land of the Weirdos

November 1, 2011 § 1 Comment

Hopefully I speak for everyone when I ask, “What the hell is wrong with the GOP presidential field?”

The GOP establishment is so dissatisfied with the current crop, they’ve tried to force the hand of other prominent Republicans to take a stab at it. The Republicans have never been short of weirdos and kooks but this election run may have topped them all.

Herman “the Herminator” (or Cornbread, as he likes to be called) has hucked and bucked his way to the top and regularly sings at the end of his speeches. A man who has held no political office – I thought Obama caught hell for this – whatsoever, is leading most national polls. He’s also leading headlines for…guess. Yup. You’ve guessed it: sexual harassment.

No presidential elections can be right without allegations of sexual misconduct. Besides, we are tired of the horrific “9-9-9″ tax plan. Americans needed something juicer. Like sex charges and unknown cash settlements!

Rick Perry announced he would withdraw himself from the several upcoming debates. His camp promised a revitalization, a new Perry 2.0, and, indeed, promise delivered.

Perry’s camp even released a new commercial. Fronting a glowing, plain, white background, Perry brags about his lack of speaking skills.”I’m a doer, not a talker.” Also, no second on Perry’s watch can pass without boasting Texas’ job creation under his term, and, so, 80% of the commercial was filled with information we already knew.

To top this, Perry showed a much different, and frankly weird, side. At a New Hampshire dinner, he hopped in place, slurred, performed voice imitations, joked around, and the crowd laughed and laughed. Whether they were laughs of discomfort or sincerity is up for debate. Finally, pulling a postcard from under his suit, Perry joke “Even Tim Geithner can get his taxes in on time,” referring to the convenience and simplicity of his new 20% flat tax plan.

Michelle Bachmann is more determined to end Obamacare than becoming President. Thank goodness the once frontrunner has dwindled to the single digits, even in her home state of Iowa, a pretty key state. Ed Rollins, former campaign manager, even says “There’s no substance” in Bachman’s talking points. My answer to that is “no, duh”!

For now, and for certain it seems, I throw my towel to the Ron Paul corner. Have you heard this guy speak?  His “Plan To Restore America” is the only plan that deals with balancing the budget, sensibly, in his first 4 years, and not in 2020. He hits it on the head in regards to foreign and monetary policy. He understands the nation’s spending problem, true free-market, government waste and corruption, promises to cut his salary as president to below $40,000, and is more vocal against the wars and military spending than any Democrat I know.

Mitt Romney (scary, not weird), Jon Huntsman, Rick Santorum are not mentioned. I don’t think they are that weird. Newt Gingrich was not mentioned for obvious reasons.

Who is the most fringiest? We won’t know until it’s time to crank it up, once January hits. The masks will come off and the debates over a 2,000 mile double border fence will cease.

Oh, that’s a real debate topic?

Well, whatever is considered “real” debate topics will arise, 9-9-9 will be exposed, foreign policy differences will be examined, and the housing market will be addressed in due time. Until then

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